III

Ville Valo. A name she had heard once or twice before. Or maybe more than that? She couldn’t remember, the drugs had picked and chipped away at her brain until all her memories had become hazed. Ville Valo. She spoke it and thought it over and over, trying to remember its origin. 

For days, between shaking uncontrollably and dry heaving, she imagined the words. He didn’t stay with her all the time but he brought her food, made her tea and coffee and even sat with her while she squirmed in agony. What he did when he wasn’t with her, she often found herself wondering. Was he chopping up another young woman or was he out searching the streets for his next victim? It sounded crazy, even in her own state of mind. 



It was half past midnight, according to the digital bedside clock. Valo had only been to see her once today; this morning to leave some coffee and cereal, none of which had been touched. She gripped her stomach and doubled over as another cramp shot through her gut. Her skin was covered in a light sheet of sweat and her muscle trembled. 

Through the ringing in her ears she heard the light clank of boots upon the wooden floor in the hallway. Then the door was unlocked and in stepped Valo. He smiled at her; in his hand was a tray with more coffee, sugar and some cakes. 

“How are you, Marja?” He said, hitting the door shut with the heel of his boot, “I’m sorry for not being here with you too often today.” 

She nodded, indicating she had heard. 

“How are the withdrawals?”

Marja bit back a moan and pulled her knees closer to her chest. Valo sighed, placed the tray upon the bedside table and sat next to her. Unlike so many other times, she didn’t flinch away from his touch. 

“It is hard, b-“

“Why?” Marja spat through clenched teeth, “Why are you doing this to me?” 

Valo stared at her. His head bowed in concentration and he gently grazed the palms of his hands along his thighs. 

“Why?” He repeated, “Well, would you rather die? Would you rather waste your life on that retched drug?”

“I was happy.” 

“No. You weren’t, Marja. Always craving; always needing the drug. How much money did you spend on heroin? You probably had to cheat, lie and steal to get the money for it, surely you couldn’t get a job in the state you are in.” 

Marja’s pale cheeks blushed slightly. 

“I – I was surviving.” She whispered.

“But you weren’t living.” 

In a somewhat childish way, Marja turned to face the wall. Valo had won. Her existence had been a miserable one, a life shadowed day after day by a haze of drugs and alcohol. She followed her arms across her thin chest and waited. 

Valo shuffled behind her, causing the mattress to jerk slightly and when she felt a hand upon her shoulder, she continued to keep her back to the culprit. 

“Are you hungry?” he asked softly, “I brought some cakes back from the bakery especially for you.”

It wasn’t until she thought of the delicious pastries sitting upon the tray that she realised just how hungry she was. She sighed and turned to lie on her stomach; the sheet was pulled safely over her chest, so as not to give the man a free show. He smiled down at her, reached for her coffee and beckoned for her to sit up, which she did with much ease.

“Black? Yes?” he asked and she nodded in reply, taking the coffee from his hand.

He lifted his own, folded his legs and sat comfortably across from her. The tray resided between them both. 

“Where do you go?”Marja asked, if not because of her curiosity then to make conversation. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Where do you go all day? I barely hear you in the house at all.”

“My dear, you spent the majority of your time in the bathroom, no doubt. Perhaps that is why you didn’t hear me?” 

“No. No you definitely left. I saw you leave. You’ve left a few times.” She looked down into her black coffee, “You haven’t gone to the police have you?”

Without warning, Valo laughed. It was such a heartfelt, angelic sound that Marja could only stare wide eyed at the man. 

“Marja, why would I go to the police? You know what I have done; going to them would not only condemn you; but me also.” He grinned, “ I have friends outside these walls you know.”

“Oh.”

“What? You thought I was a lone wolf? A murderer who keeps no company? I am weird,Marja, but not that weird.” 

Marja nodded and sipped her coffee.

“Anymore questions? I think it only fair you get some in. After all, you merely know my name and, perhaps, rationale.” 

“I remember your rationale yes. If I succeed in kicking the drugs; I’m free. If I do not; you take my life. Simple.”

“Is it?”

“No.” 

“I will give you the same help I give all my clients. No more, no less. I have a feeling you’re a determined one.” 

Playfully, he ruffled Marja’s hair and grinned from ear to ear when she let out an amused squeak. She looked so young. Her lifeless curls lay long by her shoulders in matted, faded strands. Her blue eyes and the paleness of her skin held little life and her jutting bones gave her the appearance of a skeleton. But there was something about her, some sort of hidden energy, that gave Valo the impression that she could make it.

“So, since you have no more questions, tell me about you. Where are you from? What do you enjoy doing? Why did you start taking drugs?”

Marja sat pensively gazing into her coffee for a few moments before raising her head and staring at the window. 

“I’m from Espoo. I grew up there and only came her a year ago to take on a job. Sadly, I go in with the wrong crowd and, well, you know how it goes.”

“I see.” Valo nodded, “And your family?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t contacted them in almost six months.” She look at him sadly, “I had a dog back home. Her name was Säde. She was a husky with the softest fur and the most beautiful eyes. When I left she was going on thirteen years old and I don’t even know if she survived the winter.” 

“She was your ray of light.”

“Yes. Hence her name. I miss her and I have this aching feeling in my gut that she didn’t quite make it.” 

Valo smiled sadly. Marja grazed her thumb along the handle of the mug and lifted one of the smaller cakes. Slowly, she began to eat it. 

“You should perhaps lie down after this. You’re bound to be weak from the withdrawals.” 
Marja nodded, handed Valo the empty mug and settled back into the mound of pillows. 
“You sure treat your ‘clients’ well.” She chuckled.

“I give them the best chance they can get for recovery.” Valo ran his fingers through her hair, “That’s why, when they fail, it hits me so hard.” 

“So you kill them?”

“I give them a better existence than that of living on drugs.” 

Swiftly he left the room, carrying the tray of empty mugs.