Expressions of the human mind: I

Nothing makes sense. Watching through hollowed eyes into a world of mere black and white; can you imagine it?

That’s what most see; that’s what I saw. Too afraid to tell the truth, too afraid to speak out or put things right. We are all slaves to humanity and it’s endless conformity; Slaves bond to the chains of reality.

Humanity is fascism, a cult of personality. Follow the sheep, join the herd, don’t get lost; or you get eaten.

I was a sheep. I followed, wounded and slow on my feet, I wandered blindly after them. I was a quiet sheep and when they hurt me I did not cry. I was a good sheep. A good sheep cries alone or not at all, a good sheep does what they are told and follows the leader, never questioning, never turning. We were taught to hate difference. Different skin, different clothes, different accent; we had to hate it. Don’t hate it and you get eaten; you become prey.
You began to hate yourself if you were different. You were taught to hate what you are, and by god you did. You hated until there was nothing left.

I was different. I wasn’t like the other sheep, my wool was not snow white like theirs, and I hated myself. So I hurt myself, I starved, I cried and I did anything to drown the hatred out; to chase away that feeling of hopelessness.

I was thrown into a hole with dirt falling in around me, smothering me until near death; always near, but never quite there. That ache in my chest, that was the weight of hatred. Hatred bored into my flesh, through my pores and deep ,deep into my blood. So much hatred festered into pain, pain grew into ice which turned me utterly numb.

The other sheep didn’t stop to help, no, the herd must move on with time and earth. Never stopping, never sleeping. Time waits for no man. There I lay a broken shadow, nothing more than an entity.