Expressions of the human mind: II

When we die, we are gone. Perhaps not forgotten but most certainly gone.

Being left behind, discarded by pain and cut down by your own peers is just like dying in a sense; you are not forgotten but you are gone.

So I lay wounded both unable and unwilling to get up. Around me the earth moved on, clouds sped by and flowers budded and grew to beauties. Winter came, then melted to spring which warmed to summer and eventually it was autumn again. Full circle; no notice.

I was buried beneath an abundance of leaves, a rainbow of browns and yellows and vicious gingers. Autumn bliss never felt so bitter. That chill in the night air? That was once me. My hatred spread, polluting the air around me and corrupting the very ground on which I lay.

I was infection personified.

Before long, just as the world was almost full circle for it's third winter, I met Charm.
A courageous and handsome being, with a heart of pure gold and an endless soul. In the end, I discovered Charm had no heart; he was a shadow.

Charm sat by me, on a cold autumn dawn and placed a hand upon my tattered back. At once he began to speak of the illness of the world, with it's many trials and hardships but he also spoke of beauty and passion and of the love of a selected handful of man kind.
He shed positive light in an otherwise darkened world.

"Charm," I whined, "There is nowhere for me in this world. You speak of the elvin beauty, an image that I have yet to see, and I am taken back. All I have ever known is hatred and pain.
This I have become a horror; a beast! This world has no place for me, I say."

He simply shook his golden head and smiled softly. His lips glistened pink, his teeth where a perfect white and his eyes; so bright with kindness.

"No. No. You are no beast. Hatred can sour no feartures, it can only sour souls. You, I know, have seen much pain and suffering that has fester to hate, but it is simply a matter of balancing the scales. Tweaking if you will."

I sighed and turned away from him.

"They will cast me away, I have no beauty, my soul is soiled. I am not worthy."

"If anything, the world is unworthy of you."

"It is not about beauty and a soul can be fixed."

"Not mine."

"Especially yours." He took hold of my chin gently and brought my face parallel to his, "Be happy, sweet child, with who you are and how you appear. You are unique and wonderful in your own way. No one can out run you, nor outshine you. Have confidence in yourself and others shall follow."

It was said as if one could just turn around and gain confidence in an instant. This is not the case and never was or will be the case. I almost told him that, but I didn't.
Charm continued with his speech, complementing me and insisting the corruption of the world meant nothing. But it did mean something and still does. We are all fooling ourselves by denying it.
Size means everything as does intelligence, beauty and the money we earn. Escaping this reality is impossible.

"You are lonely because you refuse to allow yourself to breathe." He said, "You smother yourself with negative images and suffering.

"Memories." I corrected.

"Experiences, not just memories. How does that old saying go?" He paused and stroked his chin as if thinking, "Learn from your experiences?"

I fell silent and refused to acknowledge his existence anymore. Soon i felt his hand left my shoulder and he stood to his full height. Looking down at me, he smiled.

"Confidence is the key my child. Contentment and happiness with who you are will create miracles for you. Believe it."

With one final toothy grin, charm left my icy presence.